It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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