i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
