I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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