I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
