id be glad to
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
