I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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