I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
