We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
His nipple licking is glorious
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
