Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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