Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
