Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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