I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize