Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
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Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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