ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
