oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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