Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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