girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
