Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
