Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
FUCK WHALES
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
