I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize