Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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