I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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