rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
