the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
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