well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
