thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
