ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
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you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
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I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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