watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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