Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
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I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
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he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize