Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
