Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
