did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I think people are normalizing furries
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize