i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
