She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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