y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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