im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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