Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
