Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
