Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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