what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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