i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
