I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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