I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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