I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
