i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
