i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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