Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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