I have demons in me.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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