Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
