she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize