remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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