Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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