Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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