Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i've created a new STD.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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