if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
try to milk me bitch
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