it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Randomize