Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
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How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
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did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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