it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
