Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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