Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Randomize
