she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
