Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
