Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
