when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Quick, to the slutcave!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
