so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
